If you’ve read Authentic Virtue very long there are at least three things you’ve discovered. One, that I really like hot, black coffee and visiting with family; two, that Jesus Christ is my daily Friend. And, three, that I have one handsome stud-of-a-muffin, blonde husband. 😉
Dalton’s personality type is the famous and lonely INTJ. He’s the calculating Architect and his people only make up about 2% of the population. INTJ’s are marked by there ability to value logic/truth over emotions. We couldn’t help but laugh as I read his profile to him — what a match! The Architect is a genius of sorts and because they base their lifestyle upon keen logic they can sometimes appear cold. Their dislike for tradition and social conventions lacking base in reason can make them appear to be the odd duck. INTJ’s make their way through life utilizing their love of logic and, as the 16Personalities writes, “People with the INTJ personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy.”
I love it. I love my man and his mostly text-book INTJ personality. Because these guys are often misunderstood or misrepresented (Think Gandalf the Grey, Katniss and Professior Moriarty) I want to list ten benefits of marrying an INTJ. Because these folk are special and, like every personality, declare the glory of God.
1. You always know where you stand
This. IS. Awesome. I always know where I stand with Dalton; guile is not in his nature (or what little was left he surrenders to the Lord). INTJ’s are transparent, there is no need to pretend to feel what they do not. He says what he means and means what he says; there are no guessing games to play which is incredibly comforting to this feeling-oriented, sensing, multi-layered gal.
2. You can trust their opinion (because they’ve studied every possibility)
Naturally, Dalton and I have the occasional differing of opinions. We may never agree that Dr. Pepper is, in fact, the heavenly dew served to angels (how can it not?). And while I may not adopt them, I trust D’s opinions because he forms them with the most careful scrutiny of thought and observation.
I have the tremendous treasure of an INTJ who strongly believes in God’s written Word. And because of his careful, logical approach to life I rest easy knowing his principals and opinions (though occasionally different than mine) are founded on nothing else but on true wisdom. What a guy! 😉
3. You will be a lifetime-learner
INTJ’s are incredibly curious and become well-versed in their interests. Naturally, their interests vary to whatever grabs their attention. A few of my INTJ’s interests include: God’s Word, health and fitness (got my own personal trainer, ya’ll), me 😉 , anime (snicker, snicker) and food.
My Guy loves to share his interests with anyone who genuinely cares; it is so fun to watch his eyes light up as he shares his latest discoveries in Scripture, how best to care for your body or to explain the tastes and textures of a durian.
If you can appreciate your INTJ’s curiosity and interests you will never live a boring, stale life and you will be the better for it.
4. Your partner’s reactions will be based on logic
INTJ’s ability to react to life based on logic is a blessing often misunderstood. I love that my Man reacts to life’s troubles (and my own craziness) logically and with understanding. He isn’t emotionally dependent. The wife of an INTJ can trust that his responses to life will be balanced and logical. There will be little to no melt-downs, emotional crutches or feelings-based binges. When death, loss, disease or hurt come your way you can be certain that you will have a rock of a man next to you, ready to hold you as you cry.
5. You will have a sounding-board
As impressive (and possibly intimidating) as an INTJ’s logic is their open-mindedness is better. Dalton is always open to my suggestions and opinions; he is not too proud to believe his way is the best or only way. If given a better idea INTJ’s will gladly take to the suggestion and throw off their previous findings.
6. You will never fear their compromise
INTJ’s are not swayed by their feelings, though they feel very deeply. Because of this INTJ’s are able to withstand temptation, feelings and situations that would normally disable the feeling-oriented man. (Of course, these folks are human and sinners like you and I … let’s not get carried away 😉
I love, *love,* love that I can trust my Husband. His character is unmoving (sometimes annoyingly so). His profession allows for a myriad of temptations to face him every day yet I know that my Man will remain steadfast and principled. It is a huge blessing.
Note: Your INTJ, though amazing, is still a sinner needing a Savior every day, so let’s be careful not to neglect prayer for our people and provide them with the same ample grace and love we need. <3
7. You’ll have a Jack-of-All-Trades
I mentioned earlier that marring an INTJ will encourage you to be a life-time learner. But it’s awesome to know that INTJ’s do not limit their knowledge to their head. If you marry an INTJ you will marry a jack-of-all-trades. Their determination, curiosity and independence will ensure you a guy (or gal) with a mysterious toolbelt of experience and knowledge.
My Man was raised by a single mother who owned a hair salon and video store; most of D’s childhood was spent playing in a salon, organizing movies and listening to ladies gab with curlers in their hair. I knew that D had a lot of knowledge about a lot of things but when our tire went flat last Christmas in the middle of nowhere at 9 pm I was sure we ‘d have to wait till morning until tire shop could be found. He just isn’t a car guy. Imagine my surprise when my Man dug around, found the necessary parts and began the long, cold process of switching out the tires.
(Talk about attractive! 😉
Later, as we happily climbed into the repaired truck, I asked him how he knew what to do and if he had changed a truck’s tire before. His answer was no but that when he was little his dad had him rotate all the tires of his tractor-trailer.
All I know is that being married to a jack-of-all-trades is a huge blessing. Oh, having a guy who happily changes a stubborn tire with a worn-out crank in snowy darkness is a great blessing too.
8. INTJs are fun
The quirks, frankness and vast knowledge of an INTJ make them a lot of fun to be around. My INTJ is more quiet upon meeting new acquaintances but once he finds his place or niche he’s a riot. His unique personality allows for a lot of laughs and his desire to be making memories (a very logical thing) means he is very motivated to get people out and about doing something fun. His unique insight brings humor to hard, uncomfortable situations … something I have learned to appreciate and need.
9. Your INTJ will believe in you
Because INTJ’s base their life decisions on logic you can be sure their attention and love for their mate will be sincere and unrelenting. D chose to pursue me; his affection was not casual or hormonal. He honestly believed I would be an excellent choice. (Goodness me! 😉
Your INTJ will be a wonderful encourager and an avid support. D believes I can do anything I choose to do; an INTJ will encourage your interests (even if they do not share them) and you can count on their pride as you accomplish your goals.
10. INTJs are honest and frank
An INTJ will not waste your time with unnecessary tact (ouch!). This can be difficult to adjust to if you are a feeling-oriented personality (meaning you value folk’s feelings more than truth/logic). I know for me, an ISFJ, it has been shocking to hear my Husband’s frank opinions. Over time I have learned to accept and even appreciate his ability to speak plainly and without the buttering-up so often used by our culture.
I have also learned to appreciate the gentleness and kindness I so often see in my husband; it is important to remember that the Heavenly Father is always allowing the Holy Spirit to conform each of us into His image and that that looks different for each personality. My INTJ is purposes to speak the truth in love and to only share what he believes will benefit the listener. These are awesome qualities I greatly admire.
There you have it. Ten awesome benefits from marrying an INTJ personality. If you are so fortunate to have one of these special people in your life I encourage you to enjoy them fully. God’s imprint and handiwork is so visible in them that it’s too fun not to enjoy them.
Tell me your story. Do you have an INTJ? Have you taken the Myers-Brigg personality test? Tell me who you are!
With love, blessings and coffee,
( If you are not familiar with this set of personality traits I encourage you to take check out 16Personalities and take the online quiz; I’ve undergone the actual pen and paper test and was surprised to see the online quiz agree with the results. It has been an awesome tool for diagnosing family members (with their permission, of course) and understanding myself.)