Absorbed With Me and Unhappy About It // Coffee Series

Coffee With You Series

It’s been a long, difficult week. I have been absorbed with me.

Absorbed with how I look, feel, dress.

Obsessed with what I want, desire and see.

In my heart the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. “Stop serving yourself, Frannie. Live for the Lord in every moment, this is the path to contentment and rest.”

Instead of listening to that still, soft voice I stuffed my heart with material, tangible self-pleasing things. I ate a little more, worshiped myself a little more, and focused on me a little more. As we all know living for oneself is miserable.  I’ve been discontented, restless, easily hurt and irritated, frustrated and lazy. Scripture reading was nipped in the bud, prayer stalled and love quenched.

Do you ever struggle with this? Does your earthly, old-nature ever make a comeback so strong you feel as lost, pagan and lonely as when you were originally? Before Christ?

We’ve had some difficulties that nearly knocked my socks off including a death in the family; later in the week we hear about another who is struggling with the bitterest of life’s struggles.

And I just can’t do it.

I cannot make myself happy when life gets so hard. I cannot be self-sufficient spiritually — I am drained. I am drained because I walked away from the fountain of living waters to drink from my own mediocre pond. Only after did I begin to feel the effects.  I remembered that I cannot satisfy soul.

Turn me again, O God, and cause Your face to shine; and I will be saved.

Hear me LORD in the day of trouble; the God of Jacob defend me; Send me help from Your sanctuary and strengthen me out of Zion. I trusted in chariots and I trusted in horses, but now I will remember the name of the LORD my God. Save, LORD; let the King hear me when I call.

Psalms 20 and 80

These are the verses I am crying out right now — verses I am praying personally because I know that the God of Zion does hear His people, even when they get distracted with their own selfishness.

I know that this post is a lot — a lot of ugly, self-centered bits you don’t see very often. But I believe in authenticity, being real and being honest. I also believe in virtue, the God given power to live life holy. Sometimes, I take my eyes off the One Who is my righteousness and focus on myself too much. And then life knocks me over and my Heavenly Father reminds me to build my life and worth on something more solid then my own abilities — Him.

So, here’s to directing my eyes to Him, choosing to serve Him over myself and enjoying the peace that obedience brings.  Here’s to loving others more than myself and helping them through the hard times.

With so much love and coffee,

Frannie

4 thoughts on “Absorbed With Me and Unhappy About It // Coffee Series

  1. I so enjoy reading your blog, sweet friend 🙂 Your writing always draws me in and keeps me smiling.
    Thank you for sharing such an honest post…. I, too, struggle with this at times. And – just like you said – I notice it’s when I haven’t been in the Word and I’ve just been too focused on myself!!
    Thanks again for the encouragement! 🙂

    1. Oh, Carolann, you are too sweet.

      I appreciate your honesty in relating with me! And I am so happy you felt encouraged and smiled a bit. That is always so good to hear.

      Blessings to you!

  2. Ah Frannie, I do understand!!! It’s been a tough time spiritually for me lately, too – I have been praying for you and will continue to do so!

    Hugs!!
    ~ Vicki

    1. Vickie, you are a dear and a friend I can count on to be praying for me even before I know I need it! Thank you!

      I will remember to pray for you … you’ve been on my mind often. You are such a deep, heart-strong soul and I know life often weighs you down. But keep your chin up, friend. You are loved, needed and rejoiced in!!

      With much love and blessings to you!

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