How a Hug Changed my Parenting

One day, if I’m ever so old and grey that younger folk ask for advice on mothering, I’ll make sure I remind them of one simple thing: hug your children. 

It’s simple, right? But for the first year I missed this. For whatever reason (tubes, medical equipment, low muscle strength, slight difficulty, fear, etc.) I always held Uriah faced away from me. We snuggled lots and lots so I never noticed what I was missing until, one day, I decided to hold him facing me. 

As I straddled his little legs over my waist something pure magic happened. His eye contact increased, his mimicking advanced, and he hugged me.  

I can’t really describe the cry-your-eyes-out-with-joy feelings that come when your baby purposefully shows affection to you for the first time but it is, without a doubt, one of the most wonderful moments you can have. 

And the hugs have only gotten better. It’s amazing the impact physical affection has on the intellectual, emotional, and physical development of our babies but it’s huge! Eye sight, language skills, social behaviors, and family affection all benefit from frequent connection. 

Now, I sit with Uriah facing me several times a day. These are the moments when we sing songs and nursery rhymes, practice our whistling and raspberry blowing, tickle each other, gives hugs, laugh, smile, and grow the trust and affection between mother and son. These moments are my absolute favorite of the day. 

And while I know our case was extreme I think that there are days when even ordinary, non-medically complex mamas forget to take the time to hug their kiddos. Some days we’re just trying to keep everyone fed and alive. 

But, sweet mama, next time you’re tempted to be frustrated or just keep busy, I hope you take a moment to look your little in the eye and give them a hug. It doesn’t need to be long (they probably won’t want to stay still for long anyway) but it does need to happen. 

And the results will be just as magical for you too — your little one’s love, behavior, connection, friendship, and possibly other developmental skills will only benefit. 

Tell me, how do you show affection to your littles? Is showing affection difficult for you or are you a natural born hugger? (I’m not 😉 ) Do you have any favorite nursery rhymes or songs you sing while cuddling? Leave me a comment below — I’d love to hear your thoughts! 

With love, blessings, and coffee, 

Frannie

Look Who Is Standing!

Sweet people … I can’t quite tell you the thrill and sob-filled joy and delight which accompanies watching your child overcome. This week, Uriah started standing. He’s initiating standing and supporting himself for seconds at a time. He still needs support but wow

Wow

I don’t think we can appreciate how much strength, balance, mental concentration, and work goes into growing up. Babies without delays roll over, crawl, stand, walk, and eat without any fuss; babies with delay require months (or years) of therapies, special equipment and exercises, occasional medications to strengthen or loosen muscles, personalized shoes and braces, and hours of repetitive play. 

These children are warriors! Hard-working, adventurous, striving little warriors eager to do life their way. 

And how exciting when we see their sweat, tears, and work pay off! 

Love from a very excited mama, 

Frannie

Inspiring my Motherhood

There are some days when my spirit, my energy, and my inspiration feel as uninspired as that lonely left sock without a mate who perpetually ends up in the bottom of the laundry bin. You know what I’m talking about, right? That’s motherhood for you — laundry unites us all. 😉

But I’m tired of feeling tired and lackluster about motherhood. The constant nag for freedom, less responsibility, or a little less whine is a drain on the soul — my lack of contentment and gratitude is killing my motherhood. 

Don’t misunderstand me … I’m all about mamas’ getting the rest (both physically and emotionally) they need. I’m not ditching the intentional rest I need in order to be a better wife, mother, and friend. 

But I am ditching the unthankfulness I’ve allowed to seep into my heart; goodbye discontentment and sour attitudes. I promise, I won’t miss you. 

Instead, I’m saying hello to being a more present woman.  Hello to inspiring the best mother, wife, and friend within me is my goal and choosing that route is inspiring itself!

Tell me about you — how do you inspire the best woman, wife, mother, and friend within you? What ways do you pursue being intentional in your life? Leave me a comment below or on my Instagram. I’d love to hear from you! 

Love, blessings, and coffee, 

Frannie

Peace Is a Gift God Wants to Give Your Home

It’s been such a long time since my thoughts found there way to this beloved space. Life, life has kept me busy and when I’m not busy I’m tired. (Mom life, am I right?)

At the moment I’m sitting beneath our covered porch listening to the pounding spring rain and thunder. I’ve got a bathrobe, freshly showered hair, and iced coffee on the scene while my men sleep soundly inside.

Life is so good. Marriage is so good. Motherhood is so good. God is so good.

But good doesn’t mean easy.

This season of life has me learning. Worry tends to bog me down these days; fear, what-ifs, and unknowns can change my moods from naturally cheerful to fretful and irritable.

What if I’m not feeding Uriah well enough (since we’re still using formula as he struggles to tolerate blended meals)? What if I’m not loving him enough? What if he needs more surgical repair and I’m not advocating hard enough? What if he gets sick again?

I’ve worn my emotions and mind to a thread wondering if I’m doing enough.

And like God often does, He led me to some wisdom exactly when I was ready for it. I was on the verge of breaking down into an unusual fit of tears and found a book with words that spoke amazing life and peace into my hurting soul:

When we release our children into the Father’s hands and acknowledge that He is in control of their lives and ours, both we and our children will have greater peace. -Stormie Omartian

Ah, isn’t that good? Sweet friend, wherever you are in life I hope you can pursue trusting God’s care and letting go of worry. Whether you are a new mom, a special needs mom, or an older mom with a way-ward child, this peace-filled trust is meant for you and your children.

I know trust isn’t easy. We like to control life (at least I do). I like being in charge of my little kingdom, I crave responsibility.

But I can’t control health. I can’t control insurnace approvals. I can’t even control milestones.

But I can trust that God is in control and I can enjoy the amazing peace filling my heart when I do.

The sweet thing is that peace is a gift God wants to give your family. Your Creator God longs to fill your home with peace that passes all understanding. A calm, restful attitude doesn’t have to come forced, wrestled into submission. It’s a gift, free to His people who choose to simply rest in God’s great love and power.

Here’s to hoping my worry-filled days can point you in a better direction. Here’s to wishing you may know the “blessed assurance” that Jesus will meet your needs.

With love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie

He Won’t Be Little Forever

Just a snapshot of my little hot mess. I promise, he didn’t fall off the ottoman during this process. 😀

Dear mom of young kids,

I know, I know. One more blog post addressed to you, the coffee-driven, alone-time-missing, mass. You who are in the middle of post-Christmas cleanup and credit card statements out the wazoo. Yes, hello, you.

I’m with you. I haven’t a dozen of young children but I do have one. A precious, darling one year old. Sometimes I think he counts for at least two since he currently requires specials cares which involve me dragging around his ventilator, priming his feeding pump, and eye-balling the tiny fists which LOVE to pull out his trach because it is oh, so, fun to make mom get her cardio in. 😉

But really, I understand. Moms are tired. We’re worn down. Even on the amazing, good, organized, low-key days we’ve still got a million things weighing on our mommy brains. It’s exhausting, I get it.

I mean, I’m currently speed writing this. I’m still in my nightgown and it’s 2 p.m. I’m in the middle of trying to keep Uriah entertained while I get the house organized and sanitized since Christmas and a 4 day pneumonia-related hospital admission has me playing catch up.

But there is more to this momhood than busyness, and diapers, and weariness.

Just this afternoon I paused my bleaching and washing to prepare Uriah’s lunchtime meal. When I came close he lifted his darling, chubby arms. Hold me, Mommy. I picked him up and gently laid his tummy against my chest and swayed that little boy who loves to practice tummy time in my arms.

And in those 3 minutes I caught a vision of what might be in the next 30 years …

I imagined laying my head on my 31 year old son’s shoulder; we’re dancing at his wedding. It’s a special day. My son, my Uriah, is grown, tall, and beginning his own life. And there I am nearly 60 years old. I’m probably shorter and fatter than ever but my son doesn’t see that. All he sees is his momma. The woman who loved him.

In the 3 minutes it took to pick up my baby, dance with him on my chest, and let my shoulder get soaked through with snot, I saw what could be. 

One day, our children will be grown. One day, we won’t have littles little enough to embrace on our shoulders. They’ll be bigger, independent, and moving away from the homes we desperately keep for them. 

Dear, tired, worn, frazzled momma. Cherish these moments with me. Cherish the little person you’ve been given because, in the blink of an eye, they will be grown and gone. We’ll never be able to hold them to our shoulders like we can now. I know it’s hard to slow down. I know you have a million-and-one things on your to-do list.

But while you strive to do your best keeping up with life, rememeber to appreciate and enjoy the people in it. <3

Love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie