Encouragement for the Woman who Feels Forgotten

I see you, sweet woman. 

Whether you’re single and lonely or a busy, married mother covered in grimy children (and wishing for some alone time), I see you. And while I can’t reach through this screen and squeeze your hand I want you to know that you are not forgotten. 

No matter what stage we find ourselves in, it’s a common theme to feel forgotten and surpassed. In my own life, I can look around and see the ordinary, fun things we’re not quite able to do just yet for fear of germs and sickness and, in all honesty, sometimes I feel forgotten. 

Do you ever feel that way? Like you just don’t fit in? Or worse, that you could fit in but no one seems to even notice you’re missing? Maybe you have so much to offer but this season of life keeps you too busy to volunteer (I’m looking at all my working moms and caregivers out there). 

Friend, I’m here to tell you that you will never be forgotten or passed over.

Christ paid too much to forget you.

I’m very emotion-based so whenever I feel that my husband and I are not as harmonious as I’d like (aka, we bickered over diapers or late dinners again) 😉 I begin to feel like I’m unraveling. 

And when my inner being is filled with this unraveling feeling I tend to not think clearly — I go into panic mode, looking for any way to calm the inner chaos a minor conflict created. 

I’ve recently learned something so precious, so timeless, that has changed my chaos to calm and it’s this simple:  

Simple, isn’t it? If nothing can separate us from the love of God doesn’t that include the emotional mess I created when I melted down from a tiny, minor argument between myself and the man who loves me? 

And if I can relax and trust that I am not forgotten, that God the Father loves me entirely, then I can rest, relax and not become emotional goo. 

And if God the Father cares that much about me and the ridiculous mess I can be, then, can’t you trust that He sees you in your season of life? He sees you hiding from your kids in the bathroom. He sees you longing for a hidden dream long put off. He knows your tired and wishing to be a stay at home mom. He hasn’t forgotten you even when the rest of your community has. 

Sweet friend, God sees you, He loves you, and He will never forget you. 

If you are feeling forgotten and longing for a friend, leave me a comment. I would love to get to know you. We’re all walking together in this journey! 

With love, blessings, and coffee, 

Frannie

Inspiring my Motherhood

There are some days when my spirit, my energy, and my inspiration feel as uninspired as that lonely left sock without a mate who perpetually ends up in the bottom of the laundry bin. You know what I’m talking about, right? That’s motherhood for you — laundry unites us all. 😉

But I’m tired of feeling tired and lackluster about motherhood. The constant nag for freedom, less responsibility, or a little less whine is a drain on the soul — my lack of contentment and gratitude is killing my motherhood. 

Don’t misunderstand me … I’m all about mamas’ getting the rest (both physically and emotionally) they need. I’m not ditching the intentional rest I need in order to be a better wife, mother, and friend. 

But I am ditching the unthankfulness I’ve allowed to seep into my heart; goodbye discontentment and sour attitudes. I promise, I won’t miss you. 

Instead, I’m saying hello to being a more present woman.  Hello to inspiring the best mother, wife, and friend within me is my goal and choosing that route is inspiring itself!

Tell me about you — how do you inspire the best woman, wife, mother, and friend within you? What ways do you pursue being intentional in your life? Leave me a comment below or on my Instagram. I’d love to hear from you! 

Love, blessings, and coffee, 

Frannie

Peace Is a Gift God Wants to Give Your Home

It’s been such a long time since my thoughts found there way to this beloved space. Life, life has kept me busy and when I’m not busy I’m tired. (Mom life, am I right?)

At the moment I’m sitting beneath our covered porch listening to the pounding spring rain and thunder. I’ve got a bathrobe, freshly showered hair, and iced coffee on the scene while my men sleep soundly inside.

Life is so good. Marriage is so good. Motherhood is so good. God is so good.

But good doesn’t mean easy.

This season of life has me learning. Worry tends to bog me down these days; fear, what-ifs, and unknowns can change my moods from naturally cheerful to fretful and irritable.

What if I’m not feeding Uriah well enough (since we’re still using formula as he struggles to tolerate blended meals)? What if I’m not loving him enough? What if he needs more surgical repair and I’m not advocating hard enough? What if he gets sick again?

I’ve worn my emotions and mind to a thread wondering if I’m doing enough.

And like God often does, He led me to some wisdom exactly when I was ready for it. I was on the verge of breaking down into an unusual fit of tears and found a book with words that spoke amazing life and peace into my hurting soul:

When we release our children into the Father’s hands and acknowledge that He is in control of their lives and ours, both we and our children will have greater peace. -Stormie Omartian

Ah, isn’t that good? Sweet friend, wherever you are in life I hope you can pursue trusting God’s care and letting go of worry. Whether you are a new mom, a special needs mom, or an older mom with a way-ward child, this peace-filled trust is meant for you and your children.

I know trust isn’t easy. We like to control life (at least I do). I like being in charge of my little kingdom, I crave responsibility.

But I can’t control health. I can’t control insurnace approvals. I can’t even control milestones.

But I can trust that God is in control and I can enjoy the amazing peace filling my heart when I do.

The sweet thing is that peace is a gift God wants to give your family. Your Creator God longs to fill your home with peace that passes all understanding. A calm, restful attitude doesn’t have to come forced, wrestled into submission. It’s a gift, free to His people who choose to simply rest in God’s great love and power.

Here’s to hoping my worry-filled days can point you in a better direction. Here’s to wishing you may know the “blessed assurance” that Jesus will meet your needs.

With love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie

Breaking Up with Self Pity

It’s taken me ten months to admit the truth to myself — I am drowning in self pity. I haven’t been dipping my toes or gingerly wading in the pools of self pity. No, I have been diving in deep, pouring buckets over my head, in self pity.

I did not mean to end up here; it just sort of happened. Somewhere around month 5 of our NICU stay I began to shower my hurts and shattered dreams and fears with heavy doses of self pity. I would nurse my angry, irrational feelings. After all, I have had a difficult pregnancy. Who wouldn’t feel a little sorry for themselves in this situation? These tiny, seemingly harmless excuses would flutter through my raging brain and heart and without knowing it I was soon bathing in a sea of self pity.

Now, almost three months post- NICU life, I’m still wallowing in it. Why do we have to be the ones to work so hard? Why us? Why me? Why Uriah? The whys and the whines and the wishes eat up hours of time, energy, and emotions. I didn’t really know the extent of my wallowing until this week when Uriah got his (awesome, amazing, incredible) stander and specialized chair.

In one sense I was thrilled to receive equipment that would help his posture and muscle tone but, in a far more honest sense, I looked at my son strapped in the contraption and wanted to cry. Cry in rage because it feels so unfair that we have to go through this. Cry at the injustice of my baby boy not being able to do what others are doing at his age. Cry in frustration over (get this) having another (awesome, amazing, incredible) piece of equipment fill my house and take up precious space. Cry in, I admit, exhaustion because what if I’m not doing enough therapy to help him catch up?

I know my feelings are to be expected; after all, I am only human. But being human isn’t an excuse for living in self pity.

I want to share 5 ways I plan to overcome my habit of wallowing in self pity. This will not be an overnight experience; choosing thanksgiving over pity and joy over grief takes time and practice.

  1. Admit and repent of choosing self pity instead of rejoicing in the Lord always

Humbling myself and agreeing that I have been focusing more on myself and what makes me feel good (pity partying) is the first step to breaking the habit of self pity. Plus, my LORD promises to help those who humble themselves and give grace when in need.

2. Stop repeating the same story over and over and over and over again

It’s so basic. To stop wallowing in self pity I need to stop talking bout what makes me want pity. Instead of focusing on my woes it would be healing to focus on what’s current in my life. Like, instead of telling a friend my horrific birth story, I should spend the time talking about the great milestones Uriah is accomplishing or the hilarious joke Dalton told me or a  yummy recipe I just found.

3. Serve others by becoming interested in their needs and stories

I have become so self-absorbed. Self pity does that. To break my habit I will become more involved in others than in myself. I will ask about their stories. I will take time to pray for their hurts and grievances. I will be active in meeting needs when I am able.

4.  Get a fresh perspective of my situation and find the blessings in every storm

Instead of focusing on how far behind Uriah is I will start focusing on the amazing gains and milestones he has accomplished, the incredible joy he brings us, and the awesome blessings our situation surprises us with every day. Sometimes to break the habit of self pity we have to take a step back, get fresh perspective, and enjoy the blessings that every storm brings.

5. Start over every day

To really conquer the habit of self pity I have to start new every day. I will feel down, I will fall back into self pity, and it’s very possible that I will grouch and grump and whine and complain. But I will start over every day. I will rely on my Lord’s present grace to overcome my habit of focusing on myself.

And I’ll print this powerful (adorable freebie) and place it where I can read its truth every day.

Have you ever experienced a time of self pity? How did you overcome it? And if you are currently in a wallowing season of life would you like some prayer? Leave us a comment below and I’ll do my best to respond and bring it to the Lord in prayer!

Also, follow this Dropbox link to get your own 8.5×11 copy of the cutie above. 🙂

With lots of love, blessing, and coffee,

Frannie

When Life Knocks the Saint Right Out of You // Coffee Series

Coffee With You Series

There’s a lot of feelings that happen when your life is turned upside down. For me, I’ve definitely become more acquainted with fear, anxiety, and anger from being in the NICU. There’s just something about not being in control of your child’s well-being that knocks the saint right out of you.

And guess what, that’s exactly what I needed.

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