Christmas for the Newlywed: Where to Go

Where to Go for Christmas as Newlyweds

Christmas is my most favorite holiday. Growing up my parents made sure the Christmas holiday was full of smiles, fun traditions and well-gifted presents. Honestly, I should write a book about my holiday memories as a child in Alaska.

Needless to say, I desperately wanted my first Christmas as a new bride to be spectacular. I knew our budget would be tight and our schedule even tighter since Dalton worked Christmas day (with no weekends off). I also knew that marrying someone’s son meant that my life was about to be enriched with someone else’s traditions, expectations and experiences for the holidays.

I knew that everyone wants a piece of you around the holidays.

So where’s a newlywed couple to go during the holidays? Should they split their time evenly between families? Celebrate early? Spend Christmas Eve with one set and plan Christmas day with the other? Should they hole themselves up like little Christmas rats refusing extended holiday cheer for the sake of establishing their own traditions?

#tbh, this dilemma causes unnecessary stress for newly married folk all the time.

Because I’ve been there and experienced the drama holidays can bring I’m going to share 3 ways I’ve learned to lower holiday stress and help decide where to celebrate Christmas joyfully.

Communicate with Your Spouse

A lot of frustration and stress needlessly takes place when we fail to communicate our holiday expectations and hopes with our spouse. If celebrating Christmas eve with your family is important mention that during the planning phase. If your husband secretly hopes for Christmas ham but doesn’t communicate you’ll feel sorry for baking the duck instead. It may feel ridiculous to explain that you’d enjoy Christmas day in your own home but it’s more ridiculous to be angry at your sweet hearted man because he missed the (unspoken) memo.

Communication between husband and wife — even when you feel silly — is the most important step for having a stress-free, rewarding holiday season.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries for what you need as a couple is vital for having a stress-free holiday.

Naturally, you’ll want to reply yes to all of the rsvps and invitations sent your way. Nobody wants to be a who Scrooge avoids extended family celebrations (humbug!). However, as a couple, you need to decide what boundaries are necessary for you to set up. You can’t say yes to everything without over extending your energy, budget and sanity.

Love Your Neighbor (and family members) as Christ Loves You

i.e: be patient, understanding and forgiving.

There will be holidays when everything does not go as planned. Especially your first away from home. Expect your mom to melt down when you can’t be home for Christmas eve and love her through her disappointment and frustration. Prepare your heart to be patient when your in-laws do things differently than you hoped. Choose to let the love of Christ reign over your heart even when you’re tired, stressed and upset over the burnt pies you were in charge of.

(Because you will burn something.) 😉

Most importantly, choose to seek you mate’s heart throughout the Christmas season. There will be moments when the Christmas season feels stress-filled but purpose to love and pursue your mate’s heart through those moments.

Because after all the dinners have been ate and presents unwrapped you’re still with your person. Let your mate know that through all the changes, stress and celebrations you’re still grateful to have their love and friendship. And that you’re so thankful to have Christmas as a newlywed.

With love, blessings and coffee,

Frannie

4 thoughts on “Christmas for the Newlywed: Where to Go

  1. Firstly, this is a very sweet post and something that we single folk don’t take into account too much, but good to keep in mind. I’ve had a few married friends lately giving me advice to tuck away for “when I’m married”, so maybe something (someone?) good is on my horizon. 😉

    Secondly, on that note, I was thinking a little about marriage this morning, and I remembered something you wrote once – I don’t know if it was in a post or a comment you left to me, but you talked about the moments early in your relationship with D. that you realized you needed to transition from loving “being in love” and all the feelings and self-gratification that went along with it, and transition to sacrificially giving and loving D. for himself, not for how he treated you. I’ve been thinking about that kind of love in the context of many of my relationships lately, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on that from a marriage perspective, especially now that you guys have kind of “settled in” and are maybe getting past the butterflies-and-roses stage. 🙂 I’m sure you have a lot of posts planned during the holiday season, but if you’re short one, I know I personally would love to hear your thoughts on “loving beyond romance,” if that makes sense!!

    Love you Frannie!! I hope you and your beloved are truly enjoying this Christmas season together! Love and blessings to you both!

    Hugs,
    Vicki

    1. Woww, that was a novel … I’m sorry!! O_o And I kind of hijacked your thought, too …

      Well, anyway …

      That was a lovely post. There are a lot of demands put on newlyweds at holiday time, and it’s important to make space for yourselves while you figure out what is going to be best for you, while at the same time loving family by being with them. Thank you for sharing your experiences!!

      Sheepishly,
      Vicki

      1. Hahaha! Oh Vicki! Don’t be sheepish — you’re wonderful!

        Actually, that is a great post idea I’d love to hijack myself! 🙂 Yes, I remember talking about that at some point and, honestly, it’s something I’m still learning to do well. But choosing to love someone for them and not their love for you is a huge, important, vital step in growing in love and authenticness as a person.

        I’ll definitely begin brainstorming for that one!

        Also, it would be a great delight to me if someone came into your horizon. I would literally dance around my living room and find something to throw confetti style. I would rejoice. 🙂 🙂 🙂

        Finally, never apologize for your comments here! This is our “coffee time” since we don’t have it in “real” life and I treasure it very much!

        Which reminds me … will you be in line for the premier of the upcoming Star Wars? The new release has all my nerdy friends on my mind!! 😉 Hehee!

        I love and appreciate you!!

        1. Ha ha!! Me, excited for Star Wars? The girl with the Star Wars “ugly Christmas sweater” and Stormtrooper socks, blasting John Williams music in the kitchen?

          Not a bit … 😉

          Actually, I have not been to see the movie yet – I’m hoping to go the day after Christmas with John and Heather, and I can hardly wait!! I hope you and D. have seen it and enjoyed it already! <3

          Merry Christmas, Frannie!!

          ~ Vicki

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