Confessions of a First Born

 
 I am a girl driven
for perfection and filled with a desire to please.

Yes, Dr. Leman, I
am a first born.

This wonderful, ahem, bothersome drive has
helped define me. Instead of being remembered as fun, lively, and entertaining (like my beloved younger sister)I am known as being responsible, level headed, and helpful. If you were to ask me I dislike being weak, fear being useless, and abhor failure.
 
I am so glad God created second-borns and comedians–the world would be a hard place to live in if it consisted of people just like me. Shudder.  

Alas, more often than not, I become my own worst critic. I’m inclined to forget that Jesus’ death and
resurrection paid for my sins and wiped them away—completely. I tend to apologize five times too many after making a
mistake. I often fret over decisions not because I am a worrier but because I
want to be able to check off my checklist completely and in the most charming
way possible.

So, when I encounter
dear-hearts who are okay with who I am (fears and quirks and all) and who
demonstrate unconditional love I tend to step back in surprise. When loving
souls accept me at my most vulnerable state and say, “It’s okay, I still love
you,” I draw a sharp breath.

You’re okay with
accepting someone less than perfect?

You don’t mind that
I don’t ~ always ~ have it together?

You’ll have enough
patience to help me learn to breathe
in this crazy world of ours?

I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father and
Great High Priest. I am so blessed to have a family who encourages
and equips me. I am so blessed to have a man who loves
patiently.

Your incredibly
imperfect perfectionist,

Frannie
 

One thought on “Confessions of a First Born

  1. Frannie, I struggled for years with being over apologetic, with feeling that I hadn't quite lived up to the mark.
    But God guides us all in His way, and when I found the perfect husband, 35 years ago, my life became fulfilled….as yours is becoming.

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