I love being a wife, I genuinely do. And I love my husband. But sometimes I forget that he’s human and needs me to purposefully (and willingly) find ways to encourage him. Here are six ways we can encourage our mates; I promise, the rewards far out weigh the effort! Here’s to delight-filled marriages and encouraged spouses!
- Pray for him (and let him know about it!)
Our husbands need our prayers. Without fail, I have seen my husband blossom, succeed, and thrive more abundantly when I choose to spend time praying for him specifically. To help keep my prayers focused I my way through his day. The labor of his hands (productivity), his relationship with his co-workers and supervisors, his saltiness and light to the lost, and his ability to encourage and love those around him are all worthy of asking God’s will and blessing on. Also, praying for God’s direction in our men’s life as well as character growth, success in the fight against lust, and for him to be encouraged and strengthened is time well spent (and rewarded!).
How can you pray for your husband (or future spouse?).
- Back rub, please?
There is something special about noticing our mate’s physical needs and joyfully serving them. For me, that means willingly rubbing Dalton’s back. 🙂
Honestly, rubbing my husband’s back (with a good attitude) is something I need to grow in. (I’ve never been a massage-person before and have the hardest time doing it!) But loving our people well is about serving them in a way they receive best.
Is there something you could do that would knock your husband’s socks off and delight his heart? Maybe it’s ensuring the house is tidied and welcoming when he gets home? Perhaps it’s a volunteered foot rub? Or, maybe it’s getting the children ready for church with a thankful, happy spirit? However, purpose to encourage your husband by willingly and happily noticing his need and doing it.
- With pleasure!
Similar to the above point, encouraging our husband involves having a with pleasure! attitude. You know what I mean, right? The I’d be happy to serve you attitude we all find delightful and pleasing? That’s the one.
Sadly, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of simply existing; we do what needs to be done and that’s that. There’s no lightness in our step; no joy in the serving. Here’s your dinner, carry your plate to the sink when you’re done is a long ways from I’ve missed you today and here’s a meal I think you’ll really enjoy mentality. See the difference? Without being too descriptive it’s the difference between duty sex (since we have to) and the sort of sex God intends for marriages to be filled with.
What’s one area you can practice a with pleasure! attitude today?
- Listen to his heart (and interests and how his day went …)
Listening. It’s so simple we tend to forget how life-giving it really is.
And after a day full of meetings, needy children, housework, or obligations it’s easy to zone out when our husbands begin to talk to us. If you want to be a life-giver, an encourager in your husband’s life, listen. When he talks about his day, take the time to really hear his words; ask questions; give eye contact. It’s the little things that make a difference.
Don’t stop there! Take the time to really learn more about your spouse. Listen to his technical talks, or anime interests, or distant dreams. Invest in your spouse by taking interest in his hobbies. Most importantly, listen to your husband’s words when he begins to open his heart; when someone opens up to you and shares a memory or thought accept that as the treasure it is and get to know that person better.
- Let me brag a little bit …
As women, we have a fabulous opportunity to build-up and encourage our men — by bragging a little! 😉 Now, I do not advise flattery; flattery does nothing but tear people down in the long run. However, genuine, life-giving compliments are worth everything. Remember the last time your husband, parents, friend, or employer spoke well of you? It felt good, didn’t it? That’s the same sort of happy encouragement your husband gets when you open your mouth and brag a little.
I love to drop little brags on my man to my parents. Dalton worked overtime today; he’s so good at providing for us or Dalton washed the dishes for me tonight; he’s going to make such a good father are phrases which are genuine and reputation building.
What sort of phrases do you speak about your man? Are they encouraging and life-giving? Or are they full of complaints or irritations?
- Transparency builds intimacy and intimacy is encouraging
One final way of encouraging our husbands is by being transparent with them. Husbands want to know if they are pleasing their wives; they want to be successful and thriving in this serious role of husbandry. Therefore, they need us to be open, honest, and transparent.
For me, being transparent can be difficult. I don’t want to be discouraging so I’ll keep my thoughts to myself or I don’t want to burden him any more so I’ll figure this problem out on my own are thoughts I often have. But successful marriages require communication, not hiding the facts to avoid hurt feelings.
Being transparent with our spouses builds intimacy and intimacy is encouraging; I mean, is there anything more encouraging and life-giving than facing issues together and overcoming obstacles?
Love, blessings, and coffee,