I know very little when it comes to dating/courting/marriage. In fact, dating sometimes feels like one big, long lesson on how to be a decent human being and love like Jesus loved.
You think I’m exaggerating? I’m the girl who learned (the hard way) that men do not enjoy being called names, appreciate home baked goods and love to have their jokes laughed at. In fact, men are kind of like us in that they love to be loved. 🙂
One lesson I have had to study is on men and their finances. A wise man will want to show that he can provide for you financially. A tender man will want to bless you by studying your desires and showing his affection with gifts. A generous man will want to meet both your desires, how you love pumpkin lattes and fallish scarves, and your needs, like restocking your toothbrush and deodorant supply. If you meet a man who is all three … take good care of that fellow … he must be related to Dalton somehow. 😉
Yes, I am blessed to have a wise, tender and generous man. And I have had to learn how to accept him and his attention especially when it comes financially. You see, I am what I like to call frugal. In reality I’m cheap and far too often greedy. Having had to pinch babysitting/seasonal-cooking funds has taught me to rethink buying that new anything. Sure, my two year-old white shirt might look like a coffee stained, yellow armpit, seventeen year-old boy’s workout shirt but at least I saved ten dollars for something better …
(Ew. Did I just admit that I have such a shirt?)
It has been difficult to accept Dalton’s gifts. I tend to pester him with statements like, “Did you know that this coffee shop is r e a l l y expensive?” or “Whoa, this is pretty pricey … are you sure you have enough money for this?” Though my intentions are good I create unneeded problems; I walk away from the store basking in how thrifty I am while the man beside me is struggling with unnecessary insecurities. “Does she think I don’t know how to spend money?” “Maybe she feels I cannot provide?” “Does she know that I can read prices as well as her?”
Dalton enjoys meeting my needs financially and blessing me. But when I insist on paying the tab he loses the enjoyment. Suddenly, that date wasn’t as great as when it started; the cute scarf he gave me isn’t as cute anymore since it reminds him of the fuss I threw about it.
Dear, sweet friends, learn to accept gifts from others. Learn to humble yourselves and give thanks rather than fight the love being given to you. Remember that you are not responsible for another’s checking account. And finally, don’t steal your loved-one’s joy.
I tried it and, frankly, it just is not worth it.
Your ever-learning friend,