I’m a first-born, mother-hen, protector personality — the kind of woman who will ask you if your feeling alright 20 times in a minute, iron your shirt, make your favorite cookies, ask you if the temperature of the room is suitable and hover over you ensuring that your water is filled and your heart content.
I am not my husband’s mother — somehow he managed to live without someone reminding him to brush his teeth, eat his vegetables and put his shoes away before I came into his life. (He keeps assuring me that he can still do those things without oversight.) Somehow he figured out how to apply for jobs, adjust the thermostat and greet people without my tutelage … and to be honest, I was kind of shocked.
I’ve always had someone to remind how to behave; I’ve always had some amount of control and involvement with those younger then me. So, when my husband
ordered me to stop mothering him reminded me that he was perfectly capable, I was confused, hurt and put out. I had only meant to be a helpmeet. Didn’t he prefer a helpful wife over a lazy one?
I think I puffed and huffed and declared that he couldn’t change me; that he should be thankful for such a helpful, sweet, willing wife.
(Hahaha, I hope Debi Pearl doesn’t come after me with a spanking stick and a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet for that statement … actually, I do. Mine is wearing out.)
There really isn’t a conclusion to this silly post other then to say that I am still learning.
I am learning to be the kind of woman my husband wants and not the kind of woman I thinks he needs. I’m finding he has no problem asking for aid when he needs it and that I need not hover over him. I’m discovering freedom in not having to be involved in his every movement and I am enjoying not being in control. It’s fun watching him be himself without me critiquing and advising his every decision. Above all, I am learning to respect my husband enough to trust him. He is capable, he is wise and he is able.
Of course, I do remind him to eat his salad greens because that’s simply good fun and it gets us laughing. ;]
Question: Are you a mother-hen? Or, are you one who despises mothering? Whoever you are leave a comment … I love learning more from you!!