Seeing Your Husband As a New Creature In Christ

Seeing Your Husband As A New Creature In Christ

He’s been a Christian longer then I; yet, sometimes, I forget that he is a new creature in Christ.

Is there anyone who can relate?

(Any brave soul to grab my hand and say, “I’ve been there dearie. Now here’s a cup of coffee.”)

Somehow, I forget that my husband is a new creature in Christ. Maybe I forget because I am two years older than him, or, maybe it’s because I am the one who has read more hardbound copies of sermons. Whatever it is, sometimes I forget that who my husband is in Christ.

Instead of looking to him as an equal, re-created soul as myself, sometimes I look at him like he is the pupil, I the instructor and life my lesson book in showing him how to live best for God.

(I could use that brave soul and “me too” right about now.)

Ironically, I give myself far more grace than what I offer my beloved. I have been known to say (a time or two) things along the line of:

“Well, that’s not how Christ would do it.”

“That’s not what the Bible says, Hunny.”

“All I know is that I base my decisions off of God’s Word and I know I’m right.”

Yet, when I sin, make poor choices or struggle in life I sing a different tune more like:

“I’m still growing; I’m not the same person I used to be. Give me grace!”

(See the contradictions there?)

I suspect I am not the only wife who struggles with to see her husband as the new creatures in Christ that he is. We forget that our Christ-following husbands are being changed into the image of God and, instead, we focus on the sin, struggles and habits which make us cringe.

Let’s stop.

Let’s stop being hypocrites, embrace our redeemed men and admire the fact that, though still imperfect, they are closer to the image of God than ever before. Let’s bless them for taking steps toward righteousness, honor their endeavors toward holiness and kiss-the-dickens  out of them when they remember that we too are new creatures of Christ, fellow heirs, learning and growing in grace.

Let’s take our eyes off of ourselves and put them onto Christ; because only then can we stop competing and start co-heiring together in Him.

Love, coffee and blessings,


The Day I Jumped Out of the Car // New Wife Lesson

I tend to be a little dramatic.

It’s so hard, sometimes, to control oneself. We happened to be driving through the old Munichburg side of town and I had just had enough. Dalton thought it would be funny to tease me about my growing shoe collection; in my mind a woman’s shoe collection is a personal, sacred area of life not to be disturbed. He also saw fit to harp on my conversational abilities — I can’t remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of, “Will you please get to your point?”

And that was it.

In an effort to show him who was boss, who was more mature and exactly what I thought of his playful banter I asked to be let out.

(Actually, it was more along the lines of “let me out of this car right now!” but you know … sometimes dramatics are needed to get the point across)

The funny part was that I didn’t really mean it and I didn’t think he would let me.

So, imagine my surprise when he stopped at the intersection and I opened the door and walked out. Hmmmmf! I’ll show him, Mr. Know-It-All. Of course I had to give a friendly wave to the car stopped behind us — just to let them know we weren’t really fighting.

I was so proud of myself … for the first 25 seconds.

But as the golden steed (our 2003 Nissan) pulled away I had my doubts. It was a lot warmer, a lot muggier and the walk home a lot farther than I originally thought. And in all honesty, I expected D to pull over up ahead and let me walk out my craziness.

When I made it over the first hill I realized the car was no where in sight.

Let me just say, I felt really, really stupid.

Here I was: husband-less, phone-less, money-less and getting more angry with each step.  I couldn’t believe that he had called my bluff. More importantly, I couldn’t believe my childishness and how my Darling Husband had really taken off.

Fast forward five minutes.

The scene?

One very sweaty, angry-faced white woman trudging her way up a big hill muttering to herself.

And then, it all changed. My Darling Man tapped my shoulder from behind and as I whirled around there he stood smiling, laughing and enjoying himself immensely. He began to explain how he had parked over the last hill, ran around me and had been following (and listening to my grumpy mutters) for the last 3 minutes.

Needless to say, I hugged him.

Five  minutes of feeling stupid, sweating and anger melted away as I realized that my Beloved hadn’t really left me at all. Oh, he was humoring me, laughing at me and enjoying his trick but he hadn’t left me.

We laughed over how similar our walk with God is. Sometimes, we want out of life — out of the hardships, the spiritually dry days, the frustration. Thankfully, our Father God never really leaves us to walk the way home alone. He’s faithfully watching over us … even while we mutter.

It’s been over four weeks but I don’t think the memory will ever fade. How can a woman forget such a lesson? How can a man love such a woman?

Do you have any embarrassing memories you’d like to share? Have any of you learned life the hard way?

I won’t laugh too loudly. 😉

Love and blessings,


The Intense Pursuit of Living Gratefully // Coffee Series

Coffee With You Series

Recently, I read a post written by Sheryl Sandberg, the deeply in-love chief operating officer of Facebook.  I couldn’t help but read her thoughts as she shared her heart and gleanings from the last thirty days since her husband passed.

It was beautiful.

And I’m not sure if it’s the cloudy, overcast sky or the emotional bubble I seem to be in but tears almost filled my eyes as I read her account of losing her beloved.

What if I lost my Dalton?

What if I lost the only man I have ever allowed into my life?

I would miss the way he comes home everyday and *always* greets me with a kiss, smile and attention (without fail). I would miss the way he fluffs his wet hair and calls himself a chick. I’d miss the way he dramatically tells me to “shhhhh” when I interrupt one of his rants. I’d miss the way he always seems to know when there is something on my mind or heart. I’d miss the way he reaches over to grab me in the night, pulling me closer to his side as he sleeps. I’d miss the way he brings me coffee in the morning … spilling it across the floor as he walks. I’d miss the way he asks me to rub his feet. I’d miss the way he jabs, pokes, grabs and teases me. I’d miss the way he phones me randomly and the way he calls after getting off his shift. I’d miss the way he always seems to forget the food that gets on his face. I’d miss the way he struts around the house after cooking an amazing spaghetti. I’d miss the way he encourages me to look to God for all, to love and desire the will of God most and to remember that heaven is far more real and desirable than what I currently see.  I’d miss the way he laughs … the way his whole face turns red, eyes squint and water, and the smile that turns into a contagious grin. (Dalton hardly ever laughs without shedding tears of joy; they are parallel). I’d miss the way he gives heartfelt gifts to me. I’d miss the way his long, spindly fingers intercross mine. I’d miss the way he encourages me to have friends. I’d miss the way he supports my writing and blog. I’d miss the way he loves reading God’s Word and discovering new truths. I’d miss his generosity, his ability to mix work and play without fail and his love of children.

And now, as I’m nearly a puddle of tears (which is so weird because I never cry) I want to stop missing and start being thankful.

As of now, and until God wills, I have a beautiful man to love. A man who loves me, crazy as he seems, without fail, conceit or means of personal gain.

And for the rest of my life I want to love him, bless him and live life with him knowing that, one day, all the beautiful treasurable traits I love about him may not be tangible.

Readers, love on your people. Serve them, bless them and keep them full of laughter, love and courage.

Love, coffee and blessings, 


How I Didn’t Know He Was the One Until I Decided He Was

Recently, I read Bailey’s newest article out loud to my hubby.

It was one of those “a-hah!” articles we both got a kick from because it described our dating days to a “t.”

I’ve never really known how to write about the early days of our relationship because, quite frankly, they didn’t fit the traditional mold I (and all my friends) had been expecting. And for me, a people-pleasing, suggestible, rule-following young woman, it was a very turbulent time.

Thankfully, the very best traits of my husband came out during our courtship, namely, his upmost desire for  God’s will and his faithfulness as he chose to stand by me despite my wavering opinions, fear of man and the stress I created when I analyzed our relationship every other week.

Now, a year and three months later, I sit in our cozy home confidant we are in God’s will. The growth I have seen in our individual and united lives has been beautiful and the sense of purpose and peace within our marriage breathtaking.

So, how did I know he was the one?

I decided.

Yes, I did follow guidelines which revealed the open doors for our relationship. My parent’s approval and insight were invaluable and Dalton’s character and love for God evident in his daily life. We shared common beliefs and our goals were very similar. Along with all that technical stuff was the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed being with this man. He made me laugh, encouraged me and revealed glimpses of a heart sold out for God.

But in the end, even after seeing all the open doors God held open, I had to decide that he was the one.

And as logical, cold, unromantic and harsh as that sounds it’s the truth.

Love, for me, required trusting in God and the man I had chosen to pursue. It meant looking more at our future than the possibility of an end. It asked me to put down the courtship manuals and rule books (which I still admire) and pick up God’s Word instead. I had to stop looking for man’s praise and enjoy the beauty of love instead.

Now, as a joy-filled, loved and incredibly happy wife I’d encourage any couple to take the route we did. Choose to love the person God is leading you to and rejoice in it. Set aside comparisons, worry and anything which leads more to doubt than resolution.

Because at some point every marriage will come to a place where it must rely on a choice.

So why not build a solid foundation in the beginning?

With much love to you,


The Three Benefits of Postponing Your Honeymoon // Published!

Super exciting!

Remember that one time I wrote about the three benefits we discovered from postponing our honeymoon?

Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum published it a few days ago (link right here!) . Whoo-hoo! Talk about a big event here at our little house! 🙂 Why not stop over and visit Sheila’s place? She always has great thoughts and plenty of encouragement to share.

With lots of love (and plenty of excitement!),