Once upon a time, back in the 90’s, a little girl named Frannie was born …
I was born into a home filled with love. God sent my siblings and I to parents who sought God since I was young. I praise His name for giving me such a legacy!
But I have always struggled with insecurities. (Still do.) I was a well-behaved child. I loved to do what was right. I loved to make people happy. The sad thing is that being a goodie-too-shoes isn’t very popular; I was teased for being good and, to top it off, believing that you are the fattest, ugliest, dumbest, most awkward girl who ever walked middle school doesn’t make life any better.
So, I chose to be cool. I chose to neglect the God I had been taught to love and instead chose to love wickedness: immorality, lying, and rebellion. Of course, I kept it all secret. I played the good girl when at home or church. But inside I was filling my lonely, insecure little heart with wickedness.
But Jesus kept seeking me. Very soon I began to be filled with fear. What if I died tonight? Where would I go? I also felt like I was losing my mind; I had no control over my body since I had allowed self-abuse and uncleanness to fill my every thought. I had no freedom. We tend to think that freedom means doing what we want but it isn’t so. Freedom is being able to do what we ought. I didn’t have that. I couldn’t stop lying, hating, looking at porn, being afraid … I couldn’t stop because I wasn’t free to.
I began to hate what I had become and so I would cry out to God yet nothing would change. I would beg for His mercy but I knew that until I hated my sin I could not become His child.
So, I began to wrestle with God.
And praise His name, Jesus won.
It wasn’t like so many other salvations; mine did not happen at one exact moment. I became a Christian moment-by-moment as I slowly surrendered my will for His. And one day, I woke up a new creature. Old things were passed away and all of a sudden I was living for and serving the God Who had died for me! ME! I had gained freedom in areas of my life I was been enslaved in. Victory was finally offered to me! Praise God!
Since then my Christian life has been full of joys and sorrows. I have often chosen to try my own way again, only to find it just as empty and bitter as before. But God has proven faithful—He offers grace and mercy each day and has been the dear daddy I need.
Beloved, I hope that my testimony is an encouragement. Jesus loves you. He died for you. And then He rose again on the third day. The same power which raised His breathless body from the grave also gives you the power to be holy and to really, truly live life.
I promise because I know.
Love, blessings and coffee,