Look Who Is Standing!

Sweet people … I can’t quite tell you the thrill and sob-filled joy and delight which accompanies watching your child overcome. This week, Uriah started standing. He’s initiating standing and supporting himself for seconds at a time. He still needs support but wow

Wow

I don’t think we can appreciate how much strength, balance, mental concentration, and work goes into growing up. Babies without delays roll over, crawl, stand, walk, and eat without any fuss; babies with delay require months (or years) of therapies, special equipment and exercises, occasional medications to strengthen or loosen muscles, personalized shoes and braces, and hours of repetitive play. 

These children are warriors! Hard-working, adventurous, striving little warriors eager to do life their way. 

And how exciting when we see their sweat, tears, and work pay off! 

Love from a very excited mama, 

Frannie

Inspiring my Motherhood

There are some days when my spirit, my energy, and my inspiration feel as uninspired as that lonely left sock without a mate who perpetually ends up in the bottom of the laundry bin. You know what I’m talking about, right? That’s motherhood for you — laundry unites us all. 😉

But I’m tired of feeling tired and lackluster about motherhood. The constant nag for freedom, less responsibility, or a little less whine is a drain on the soul — my lack of contentment and gratitude is killing my motherhood. 

Don’t misunderstand me … I’m all about mamas’ getting the rest (both physically and emotionally) they need. I’m not ditching the intentional rest I need in order to be a better wife, mother, and friend. 

But I am ditching the unthankfulness I’ve allowed to seep into my heart; goodbye discontentment and sour attitudes. I promise, I won’t miss you. 

Instead, I’m saying hello to being a more present woman.  Hello to inspiring the best mother, wife, and friend within me is my goal and choosing that route is inspiring itself!

Tell me about you — how do you inspire the best woman, wife, mother, and friend within you? What ways do you pursue being intentional in your life? Leave me a comment below or on my Instagram. I’d love to hear from you! 

Love, blessings, and coffee, 

Frannie

The Importance of Being Understood

Have you ever felt the ache to be understood? As mothers, I think there is a strong desire to have our fellow mama’s understand us, our choices, and our life situations.

We want people to understand, not just tolerate, why we’re late to church again. We want the picture-perfect Target moms to get why we’ve got circles under our eyes, a double shot Venti latte in hand, and three uncombed children practically spilling out of the cart. I think we want to be seen for the mess we are and accepted with a hearty “I’ve been there, I understand” smile.

I know I do.

Lately, I’ve been longing to be understood. I want people to understand the ache in my heart when I’m scouring grocery store aisles for prune juice and probiotics. I want to be understood when I walk through Hobby Lobby with a darling son and equipment that won’t stop alarming. I crave the acceptance that only comes from similar experiences.

I know my heart’s cry is needy. Why do you need to be understood, Frannie? Just do you. Be you. But it isn’t that easy. Feeling alone in your situation, whatever season of life it is, can feel exhausting.

Imagine the pure joy I had when someone accepted, understood, us. We were cruising JoAnn Fabric’s aisles and I was starting to feel myself shrinking as Uriah’s ventilator kept alarming. It’s this loud, repetitive sound that occurs when he is breathing fast and, since he was so happy and excited to be out of the house, the whole store could hear us coming. 😉

And whenever you carry a child with loud medical equipment you tend to get sweet, kind, pity-filled looks or stares. And as well-meaning as those looks may be, you can’t help but wish to be normal, not pitied, and understood.

As I was cruising past one aisle and entering another, I turned and saw a 15-ish year old young man with Dwarfism looking Uriah over. And, without one ounce of pity or look of sorrow, he looked me in the eyes and said, “That is a cute kid.”

That is a cute kid. 

No “how can I pray for your son?” No awkward side-eyes. No bold stares. No pity-filled, lip quivering looks. Nothing but pure admiration for a little boy who is so much more than the trach sticking out of his neck or the machine beeping wildly beneath the stroller.

It was in that moment that I realized that young man understood us. No, I’m not saying he understands everything about our medical journey or difficulties. He probably has no experience with a trach or feeding tube.

But he did understand what it means to be different. He understood sticking out in a crowd. He understood the fear, the worry, the awkwardness of not being normal.

And in his innocent way, I felt embraced. I felt like he was part of the tribe I needed to find. I felt like Uriah was seen for who he was and accepted without question.

(I always worry when I share these posts that you, my amazing reader and friend, will worry that you’re making me feel uncomfortable, that you’re part of my complaint. I promise you, you aren’t. We have an amazing group of friends across this nation who have embraced us, given us courage, and love! I tend to only struggle with these feelings when I’m surrounded by folk who don’t know us.)

How about you, friend? Are you longing for someone to simply look at you and understand? Are you hoping to find a tribe who accepts you, your children, husband, home, and time schedule without question or judgement? You’re not alone, I promise. We’re all looking for friends who understand. 

The beautiful thing is that there is always one Who does understand and that is our Heavenly Father. He knows our hearts, knows why each tear falls, and invites us to cast every care on His Son, Jesus. He came to tend to the broken, the weary, and the hurting.

And after He works on us, we can find ways to understand and be there for others. 

Love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie

Peace Is a Gift God Wants to Give Your Home

It’s been such a long time since my thoughts found there way to this beloved space. Life, life has kept me busy and when I’m not busy I’m tired. (Mom life, am I right?)

At the moment I’m sitting beneath our covered porch listening to the pounding spring rain and thunder. I’ve got a bathrobe, freshly showered hair, and iced coffee on the scene while my men sleep soundly inside.

Life is so good. Marriage is so good. Motherhood is so good. God is so good.

But good doesn’t mean easy.

This season of life has me learning. Worry tends to bog me down these days; fear, what-ifs, and unknowns can change my moods from naturally cheerful to fretful and irritable.

What if I’m not feeding Uriah well enough (since we’re still using formula as he struggles to tolerate blended meals)? What if I’m not loving him enough? What if he needs more surgical repair and I’m not advocating hard enough? What if he gets sick again?

I’ve worn my emotions and mind to a thread wondering if I’m doing enough.

And like God often does, He led me to some wisdom exactly when I was ready for it. I was on the verge of breaking down into an unusual fit of tears and found a book with words that spoke amazing life and peace into my hurting soul:

When we release our children into the Father’s hands and acknowledge that He is in control of their lives and ours, both we and our children will have greater peace. -Stormie Omartian

Ah, isn’t that good? Sweet friend, wherever you are in life I hope you can pursue trusting God’s care and letting go of worry. Whether you are a new mom, a special needs mom, or an older mom with a way-ward child, this peace-filled trust is meant for you and your children.

I know trust isn’t easy. We like to control life (at least I do). I like being in charge of my little kingdom, I crave responsibility.

But I can’t control health. I can’t control insurnace approvals. I can’t even control milestones.

But I can trust that God is in control and I can enjoy the amazing peace filling my heart when I do.

The sweet thing is that peace is a gift God wants to give your family. Your Creator God longs to fill your home with peace that passes all understanding. A calm, restful attitude doesn’t have to come forced, wrestled into submission. It’s a gift, free to His people who choose to simply rest in God’s great love and power.

Here’s to hoping my worry-filled days can point you in a better direction. Here’s to wishing you may know the “blessed assurance” that Jesus will meet your needs.

With love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie

Making Sense of our Medically-Complex Adventure

Every once in a while I get to see the why’s behind our story. Last week, Uriah had a difficult 4 days following an intense and lengthy bronchoscopy. What was supposed to be same-day surgery became a 3 day PICU admission, a manual bagging, low SATS, three trach plugs, steroids for inflammation, and exhaustive hours spent watching my amazing active boy sleep restlessly and his SATS dance higher than I like.

He’s still recovering from his intense procedure but he is recovering and that is a blessing.

But, as a parent watching her child struggle, there are moments when I wonder why. Why us? Why does Uriah have to struggle? Why the difficulties? Why, why, why?

Tonight, as I cried my little cry, I looked at the stars and saw my favorite constellation … Orion. Long ago, when I was a teen and life felt so big, God so mysterious, and my purpose meaningless I made a pact that whenever I saw Orion I would choose to remember that the same God Who created those stars and has kept them in their place for centuries is the same God Who made and loves me.

And some 10 + years later those same stars greeted me on a night when I wondered why. Why does my son have to work so hard for everything? Why does a simple procedure have to become a threatening, code blue situation? How in the world do normal families function … what is it like to not have to worry about ventilator heaters, trach plugs, suctioning, oxygen SATS, tube feeds, and milestones? Why, why, why?

But then I remembered Uriah’s strength. I remembered his smiles, the silly toothy grins he gives us. My mind wandered over his latest milestone accomplishments — tummy crawling, scooting, saying Momma and Dadda, pursing his lips to whistle, a Swallow Study that showed no primary aspiration, sitting with almost no assistance. These are amazing things for a little boy like Uriah; he is literally a crawling, talking, smiling, scooting, happy miracle and every day, every accomplishment, makes those hard times worthwhile.

Then, there are the random emails I get from young mothers going through PPROM, miscarriages, and extreme fear in their pregnancies. These are the emails thanking me for reminding their authors that God is good, caring, and there in their troubles. These are the emails that make sense of my misdiagnosed miscarriage and all the other horrible aspects of my pregnancy.

And after a few moments reflecting on all this I am reminded, once again, that all life makes sense if I am thankful. And I have SO much to be glad for! For an amazing son who loves me, loves his Daddy, and loves life. For a husband who loves his family with everything in him. For milestones that doctors said would never come. For a home to keep and make memories in.

Though I still wish I could snap my fingers and help Uriah be completely healthy and free from support I am so thankful for where we are at. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t change a thing  because this life we are living is worth every hardship. I know those sentences conflict with each other but it is true … our life would never be this special, this unique, and this bonding if I could change it.

How do you make sense of the hard things in your life? Are there any special ways God reveals Himself in the mess?

 

Frannie