am sure my life is so much more meaningful than how comfortable I can make it,
how homey my home is, how much money I make, who I know, and what I wear.  

mean, I guess I could be wrong seeing that my belief is contrary to the other successful,
happy people in this word. The majority who so often seem to say what is what.

now that I comprehend the vast amount of humanity I am turning against, my life
wouldn’t be very valuable if I spent it for God.  I mean, spending my moments really doing what
Christ desires: pouring my life out, not loving this world, spending my moments
in true, eternity-effecting responsibilities. I guess dying to self really isn’t
all that profitable, is it? and that gaining the rewards of said death (walking
and working in fellowship with the God, gaining victory over sin, and gaining
life) isn’t really all that worthwhile . . .

God has been knocking on my heart and asking me if I really, truly want life.
And I say that I do; “Yes, Lord, of course I want that.” Then He says to follow
Him. Follow. Him. As in do as He says, trust in His Person, walk in His ways.

I honestly am afraid of such surrender, of such impact with my Lord, I’ve
piddled around enough to know that life outside of Christ is no life at all; that
there is no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.

really, honestly, I count it as a privilege. For God to reach out to us humans
and say, “I love you. I’ve paid the price for you. I have a heart of good-will
to you” is amazing. To be counted as an heir with Christ, to have my identity
in Him is truly worthwhile. To know that He rewards the faithful and lifts the
weak . . . well, that really is worth all the pain and un-comfortableness at
the moment.

I am sure. Sure that life is so much more than I often
make it.


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