It’s a quiet, early morning at our Ronald McDonald House. I’ve found my way into the large kitchen and brewed a pot of hot coffee. This is my quiet time to reflect on all that life has involved. I’m sitting by the lumpy, lit Christmas tree reading Psalms 9 by the twinkling lights.
We’ve made it. Uriah is 19 days old today and it feels like we’ve made it. His shunt, meant to drain the build up of cerebral fluid, was successfully placed yesterday afternoon and already his head has decreased in size by .9 . I’ve been told that children who are old enough to speak often say their heads feel better the day of surgery. I imagine Uriah may be feeling some of the benefits of the decreased pressure. (This makes my mommy-heart want to weep with joy!)
We’ve made it. We’ve walked through premature rupture of membranes, bed rest, infection, a placental tear, and a labor/c-section that wasn’t typical. We’ve made it through 19 days of intubation, iv lines, a TE Fistula surgery, a newly placed NG feeding tube, and now, finally, the shunt placement.
And all I want to do in my quiet, coffee-filled, Christmas tree lit spare moment is cry and laugh and sing and cry some more.
God has been amazingly, wonderfully here and good. “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will show forth all thy marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in thee; I will sing praise unto thy name, O thou most High. When my enemies are turned back, they shall fall and perish at they presence. For thou hast maintained my right and my cause …” Psalms 9
We still have a journey ahead of us. Shunts fail and get infected; they need to be replaced and sometimes frequently. Uriah’s still recovering from pneumonia-like illness and his little right lung is still healing from being mucous-filled and occasionally collapses. We have no idea what amount of damage was caused by the pressure build-up and we have no idea how much his brain will “fluff”.” (Although we have very high hopes and have been given a good prognosis). And along with the recovery from the CF build-up our little one may face difficulties reaching milestones since he was born early.
But all of that can wait. All of those unknowns can be faced one step at a time. Because today our little boy has less pressure in his head than ever before. Today, our little one has conquered his last foreseen surgery (although realistically there may be more). But for today, we’ve made it. Today we get to focus purely on recovery and growth and feedings and milestones and being weaned from the ventilator. Today, the sun is shining brighter than it has all week and my heart feels lighter than it has in a long while.
Thank You, Father, for caring for us. Thank You for giving us such a brave, strong, sweet little boy. Thank You for his Hydrocephalus and for his pneumonia and for his TE Fistula. They are things I wish I could take away and never make him face but they are things You have been Victor and Healer in and You are wise in all that You send to us. Thank You for caring for us through other people; thank You for the financial gifts, encouraging cards, and sweet messages and visits you’ve sent us through friends and family and strangers. We have never been without and we have never seen You fail and I trust You in this journey.
What journey are you facing today? Are you at the beginning, middle, or end? Have you seen God carry you through or are you in a waiting phase? Comment below — I’d love to be able to pray for you.
Love, blessings, and coffee (and a chocolate cupcake) 😉 ,