Dear Husband, Thank You for Loving Me. Signed, Your Tired Wife

Parenthood is so much more than I ever imagined. The joy, exhaustion, fun, and worry take turns overwhelming mother’s heart; I never knew motherhood could be so much.

And in the midst of it is my marriage — this loving bond that gave me my motherhood in the first place. And, sweet readers, it’s this special friendship and union that needs, more than ever, dedication and attention. I now know what every married mother tried to tell me … parenting is exhausting. Mom life is an amazing privilege and with it comes great responsibility. I’m literally at the beck-and-call of every moment of every day.

Sometimes, in my exhaustion, I am too tired to think about encouraging and pursuing the husband who I love so very much.

So, dear husband, thank you for loving me.

Thank you, to all the husbands out there, who love the women who are now mothers of your brood. I know feminists will gush a hearty but of course he should help; it’s his child too. Not me. I take notice and appreciate men who are not only great fathers but great givers and lovers to tired mothers.

Thank you, husband, for finding big and little ways to make motherhood an easier transition for me. He has inspired this list because he has done each of these caring, nurturing, loving things! 🙂

5 Ways to Care for the Tired Mom in Your Life: 

  • Making us breakfast (complete with coffee!) 
  • Loving delivery pizza as much as we do (at least once a week)
  • Sending us to bed or Hobby Lobby or anywhere where we can be responsibility free for a time 
  • Giving genuine compliments when postpartum and pumping hormones have us feeling ick
  • Pursuing romance and snuggles … because we really do want to be more than just milk machines and diaper-changing lady bosses 

 To sum it up, thank you for nurturing us while we nurture your children.

Moms or future moms, take a few moments during your next coveted coffee or Netflix or bath break to come up with some ways to say thank you to the men in your lives who are doing so much. For me, blessing Dalton is as easy as offering a massage, preparing a yummy meal, and just enjoying him.

I can’t tell you how refreshed my hubby is when I take a break from being mom and simply be his friend and enjoy his company. Laugh genuinely at his jokes, listen to his stories, or pursue his heart; imagine, husbands who enjoy being enjoyed? 😉

With love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie

5 Ways to Deal with Anger in Your Marriage

Real life means we’re going to have conflict in our relationships. How we handle it, or don’t handle it, will determine if our marriage will grow or not. Join me for a coffee break and a quick read on how to deal with anger in your marriage. Follow this link or click on the picture below.

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How to Pamper Your Partner (in 5 easy steps)

Valentine’s Day is one week away so here’s a little throwback how-to for pampering your partner. Sit back with a cup of coffee, click on the link or picture, and discover 5 ways to make your loved one feel cherished!

AuthenticVirtue.com

How are you going to be celebrating the holiday? Will you celebrate single style? In a protest? Or with a spouse? Tell me your plans; I’d love to hear!

Love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie

5 Ways to Love Your Spouse (When Your Season of Life is Crazy)

AuthenticVirtue.com

Purposefully pursuing your spouse during a hard season of life is incredibly important for a healthy marriage. We talk about first fights and how to settle arguments and submit joyfully to our husbands but what do you do when you find out you’ve lost a little one? How do you draw closer to your spouse when you discover your child has developmental issues or that your parent has a terminal illness? How do you cultivate your friendship when bills are sky high and the stress of unemployment fills the room? How can your marriage bloom when your season of life is too full or crazy for romance?

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One Month Ago Today: Hospital Anniversary

AuthenticVirtue.com

It’s amazing to think that one month ago yesterday I spent the morning frantically changing my outfits not sure which would be best for our day out and our appointment with our midwife. I knew this wasn’t going to be the traditional check-up; we had recently gotten news of Uriah having Hydrocephalus and my midwife (being the awesome lady that she is!) had asked to continue seeing me (free of charge!) so that she could keep up with my health and be a soundboard for bad days or questions (as we’d be moving my care to a specialist).

Dalton and I drove the 30 minutes and had a hundred questions answered and someone willing to listen to our concerns. What do we do with finances? Which hospital would have the most experience? How could I best prepare for a c-section? The list was a mile long and the 20+ years of experience Susan had definitely came through. We left her home feeling hopeful and glad; we can do this. We can do this.

It was date day which means all sorts of fun in our home. We visited several Mennonite-run stores gawking at the low prices and great variety. Lunch included handmade sandwiches and trail-mix. Dalton had never been to these stops before so that always make the adventure fun. Our last stop was a shop with gorgeous pumpkins of all sizes. We were in the check-out line with a bag of brown rice and a lump of blue cheese when I had to find the restroom.

In that tiny room my water broke. I wobbled out, stood by Dalton as he finished the transaction, mentioned that I think something weird happened, and smiled when he still remembered to ask the cashier for three pumpkins. Before we hopped in the car I picked out the most adorable dwarf pumpkins and Dalton found a large, blue-ish-green specimen he loved.

One month ago yesterday, my water broke. Today is the one month anniversary of our being in the hospital. Thirty-one days of monitoring, pokes and prods, and the ever impersonal, funny question, “Have you had a bowel movement today?”

One month of unknowns, new diagnosis’, nurses, doctors, and getting to know the staff who bring me my meals and clean our room with smiling faces. One month of being more social than I have been in my life, feeling more loved by friends and family than I ever knew, and getting dressed earlier in the morning (quick, put the bra on before the nurses arrive!) than I knew routinely possible. (In normal life I get dressed after Dalton heads to work … at 9 am.) 😉

And we have been so blessed.

Since my water broke God has graciously given Uriah 32 more days to grow, thrive, and develop in my womb. Plus, with no major contractions, it looks like He may be giving us more!

Since my water broke we’ve had countless cards, goody baskets, surprise packages, promises of prayer, and financial support pour through the mail system and into our little room.

Since my water broke I’ve connected with families who have experience with Hydrocephalus and Holoprosensephaly. Amazing families who love their children without conditions or questions. People who give me hope and let me know that children with special needs are still children and worthy of every ounce of love we can give. People with children who defy doctor’s prognosis’ and expectations.

Since my water broke I’ve lived in two different hospital rooms; one for labor and delivery and the other for maternity. I’ve met so many people. Dr. Mohammed, Letensie from Eritrea, Africa, and Rita from India. Not to mention the nurses from more local areas. They all have a story to share; one had an arranged marriage which is 35 years strong and experience serving in her once war-torn country, one raises alpacas and rescues puppies she find on the street. Another invites me to the Christian church in Columbia when I’m able. Then there’s the sweetest housekeeper who raises horses and asks me questions about my Christian walk no one has ever asked before.

Since my water broke I’ve drank more water than ever before. In an hour I down 30 ounces or more. My complexion should be beaming before this is over! 😉

Since my water broke I’ve had more people see me in my jammies than I ever thought possible. But these are the people who stop by and pour their love on our family. These are the folk who take time out of their day to sit on an uncomfortable couch and ask about Uriah and his latest news.

Since my water broke Dalton has made this hospital his home. Our days have developed a routine. He heads to work early to beat the traffic and change into his uniform at home, works his 10 hour shift, drives home for a quick shower and picks up the mail and fresh laundry, then heads back to the hospital by 8 to 8:30. He pulls “Lawrence” close to my bed and we watch “Whose Line” reruns while we eat dinner. Then, he helps set up the monitoring equipment so we can hear Uriah’s heartbeat; most of the nurses are impressed with his ability to work the machinery and how much easier he makes their job. I’m just grateful because I like him snuggled so close to me. Afterwards, I get my heparin shot and we both fall asleep faster than I think possible for a bed rest patient and her easily-woken husband. He’s does this without complaint or grunt. Our weekends are full of quiet, relaxing times full of wheel chair rides outside, a special dinner, movies, and Minecraft.

Since my water broke I’ve gotten to lean closer to the Lord than ever before. Oh, I’ve had times where I’ve leaned into the Lord but there is something urgent, something necessary about drawing close to the Lord in the unknown. Since my water broke my God has taught me:

That He does, in fact, answer prayer. 

That His Word really can bring comfort and healing to the soul. 

That He is, indeed, very present. As in, He is in this room with me. 

That He cares about every need, the big and small, in our lives. 

That He does carry the pregnant woman and child like a Shepherd carries His sheep. 

That sometimes praising Him is the only way to defeat anxiety and fear. 

It’s been amazing how fast a month can pass by. When the doctor first recommended my staying here for 10 weeks I nearly choked. But time passes pleasantly, I am able to stay busy, and I’ve gotten the perfect time to bound with little Uriah before he even enters the world. Plus, this has taught me how to best be with people when I have nothing to offer them. And I’ve discovered, again, that my and Dalton’s marriage and friendship can run so much deeper; we just have to be purposeful.

Thank You, LORD, for this good month. Thank You for carrying us, like small, fragile sheep, through the wilderness. Thank You for being with us every step of the way. You are trustworthy, faithful, and full of mercy. “I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. My mouth will show forth Thy righteousness and Thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof. I will go in the strength of the LORD God …” (Ps. 71:14,16a)

God is so very good, my friends.

Love, blessings, and coffee,

Frannie