This Thing Called Marriage

:: Cinnamon water, black coffee, and matching plates of omelets and pita bread for brunch. A happy hello from the Duncans! ::

Hello dear friends!

Wow … can you believe that I am
actually, truly, for the rest of my life, married?

Sometimes I myself forget. J

But before I get lost in some
confusing blog post let me tell you something …

Marriage is wonderful!

I love waking up next to my
best friend every day. Talking budget with him. Learning how to communicate and
share my/our feelings better. Discussing how our parents are doing. Encouraging
him. Showing him what I’ve been doing while he is away at work. Strolling
through town with him. Greeting him at the door. It really has been a blast—and
something I pray lasts for many more years to come.

There have been many (hilarious, conflicting, amazing) adjustments
to make since I became Mrs. Duncan two weeks ago. Let me list them:

1) It is okay that I’m sleeping
with … gulp … a man.

            I know, I know. “Get with the program, Frannie. You’re
married so of course you’ll sleep with a man.” 😉 But really. This has been an
adjustment and one I am pondering and plan to write more on in the future. J

2) WHO AM I?

            Marriage has turned my world around and for the better.
But there are some moments when I stop and ponder the big questions in life. Who
am I now that I’m married? What am I supposed to do with myself? Who do I
answer to?

            Of course I know the answers to these questions. I’m
still Frannie. Yet, marriage has altered my course of life drastically. You
see, I think I was prepared for the idea
of marriage and not the reality. I
have spent many years happily single, enjoying the freedom singleness gives,
and knowing exactly who (and how) I wanted to please. The day after our wedding
I sat in bed and asked my beloved husband the silliest of questions, “Who am I
now, Dalton? What do I do with myself?” Thankfully, my tenderhearted, gentle
man didn’t laugh at my quandary and the huge wave of reality that washed over
me. Instead, he gave me encouragement to start slow and see where God takes me
in this new adventure of wifehood.

            Thankfully, God is still the same God now that I’m
married as He was when I was single; He knew I would go through an unforeseen identity
crisis, He foresaw that I would wrestle with what I was to do next, He
understood that my rule-loving, schedule-abiding heart would need reminders of
His faithfulness. Most importantly, He understood my heart way before I did.

3) The wait-till-two-flush-rule

            J It isn’t a rule but I find it humorous how my tidy, thrifty
stud of a husband likes to save money by waiting till the second potty run to
flush the toilet.

4) Signing my name as Frannie Duncan

            Having now become an “official adult,” I’ve thrown myself
into all sorts of adult-like interests (i.e. researching renters insurance, internet
company quotes, homemade cleaners, Craigslist furniture searches, calling stale
bank ladies who seem to hate answering the phone …). Being grownup is really
quite entertaining. And signing all the documents and email signups with my new
last name has proven to be a hassle some days.

            p.s. I’m being sarcastic when I say that being married
now equals adulthood. I’ve always felt that that was how the world viewed me
but I can honestly say that marriage does not “grow you up” or make one feel
validated. It is wonderful and lovely but it is not what makes a girl a woman
or a boy a man. That’s what character and maturity is for.

5) Living with neighbors … for
better or for worse

            Most of my life has been lived in rural, wooded areas
with several acres in between homesteads. When describing his ideal place to
live my dad puts it this way, “I need to be able to pee off my own porch
without worrying about people … or else I just won’t worry about them.” J

to Jefferson City with Dalton has been one of the most thrilling adventures
yet. I adore this city. I love seeing the neat, brick homes lining the street
and watching families sit on their porches after work. I like living within
hearing distance of the train and church bells. And I thoroughly enjoy being
able to walk downtown passing historical sites all the way to the capital. Dalton
and I were especially excited when the empty apartment above our little home
began to buzz when a new couple moved in. But after being jolted out of bed by the
sound of a well-equipped boom box and later overhearing their relationship
problems through the course of a yelling match I’ve been laughing over how
little I now about living right next to neighbors. Hopefully, I’ll be making
cookies for the new pair and, who knows, maybe our two families will stay in
touch for the rest of our lives. J

            Needless to say, marriage has brought so many joys and
blessings my way. I am so thankful God saw it fit to bring D and me together …
and I am so glad I get to share this new adventure in life with you!

            With lots of love!


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