It’s been two years and five months since Dalton and I walked down the candle and petal lined aisle as husband and wife. Two plus years of loving, growing, learning, and enjoying the marriage covenant we made with each other and God.
After so many days we’ve seen how true Ecclesiastes 4:12 is, ” … if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
We understand the benefit of having someone to walk through life with you; marriage is a journey where both give 100%; the results are beautiful and life-giving. Dalton and I are as tight as tight can be; he’s my best friend and best adviser.
But we also know our marriage isn’t this enjoyable by accident. We know our marriage is good because we have the three cords Ecclesiastes speaks about. The traditional view is that each cord represents the three persons in the marriage covenant: God, husband, and wife. We have a different view. We think the three cords in marriage, the three cords which are not quickly broken, are agreements from different people: the couple, the parents, and our Heavenly Father.
Let me show you why having these three cords in your marriage will bring you amazing happiness and strength. A cord doesn’t always have two cords; sometimes the third is missing from the beginning, other times a cord snaps from duress leaving two to hold on tightly. Ropes continue to be ropes even when one of the cords is damaged but the effectiveness, beauty, and success of its original design is hindered.
The first cord is the couple’s oneness
Before we married, Dalton and I talked about everything. We explored our expectations, our fears, and experiences. We discussed birth control, family sizing, pornography, and how we wanted to care for our parents if ever they needed us. We described our ideas of what our roles and responsibilities would be toward each other. We agreed that divorce will never be an option and will never be mentioned. Your marriage will be incredibly strong if you enter it unified with your spouse.
As a wife, I feel so safe because I know my husband. Of course, surprises still come but I can say I know Dalton and he knows me. We know what triggers responses, how we handle stress, and we know each other’s hearts.
No matter how rough life gets, I know the first cord of marriage, our oneness, will always keep us grounded.
The second cord is a parent’s blessing
We cannot tell you how much our parent’s blessing and support of our marriage means to us. Sometimes, Dalton and I simply sit back and enjoy how sweet life is because we have parents who are involved in our lives.
We think the second support or cord of marriage is your parent’s support. Now, we know that this will not be possible for every couple and I want you to know that your marriage can still be beautiful and succeed because two cord ropes are still beautiful and useful. However, there is something so helpful and sweet about knowing your marriage is backed up by the people who raised you.
The final, and most important cord, is the Lord’s blessing
Marriage is, after all, God’s original idea. In His kindness and wisdom He put Adam to sleep, formed a woman from the unconscious body, and woke the gardener up to find a unique, special helpmeet (a help perfectly fit for him). God is the best gift giver, by the way. 😉
Dalton and I give out-of-the-box advice when our single friends come calling for advice on whether or not they should pursue so-and-so. God gave very few restrictions on finding a mate. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” When looking for your spouse look at their heart and actions. Do they love the Lord? Are they followers of Him?
If the answer is yes then you can safely begin looking deeper. Maybe after getting to know the person you’ll realize your ideas or personalities are too different. Maybe you’re not as compatible as you originally thought. Or maybe you’ll discover that your differences are worth working through. God gives so much freedom to His children in this area because compatibility isn’t what makes marriage work, it’s the couple’s willingness to suffer together.
So, if you pursue marriage with someone who is a genuine believer than you can trust that the third cord of your marriage is secure and in place. God created marriage and He’s all for it.
Marriage is amazingly beautiful. It’s life-giving and challenging, God’s special tool in the sanctification process of your soul. And when the three cords of marriage (the couple’s covenant between each other, parent’s support, and God’s blessing) are strong and well-kept it is incredibly effective.
The best thing? Even if one of the cords are damaged, the rope can still be a success. If two cords are damaged the marriage will falter but it is still hanging on. But with a little care cords can be strengthened, marriages rebuilt.
What do you think the three cords in marriage are? Which cord seems most important to you? Do you think relationships should be built on compatibility or are differences a deal-breaker for you?
Love, blessings, and coffee,
p.s. I have to give credit where credit is deserved … this non-traditional view came from my one and only, Dalton! 😀 God did an amazing job when He created Dalton’s mind; this man thinks outside of the box and expands my worldview in so many awesome ways! So, from now on, whenever I post something that came from my blonde-headed philosopher I’ll include this little gem. Haha! 😉