Why I (don’t) Love Mr. Darcy

            Warning: I realize what you are
going to read may be upsetting. It’s okay; I’ll take the imaginary tomatoes you
may throw my way. My opinions are not popular and I’m okay with that.

            There comes a time in every young
woman’s heart when she begins to think about “The One.” The One who will love
her and on whom she can pour her love; during this time some ladies will day dream, others make
prospective lists, and still others will eat cookie dough and watch Austin classics.
(Note: It has now been confirmed that some ladies partake in all of the mentioned activities. I must confess, I’m one of them 🙂
            While watching said movies, these
young females tend to set their hearts on different, agreeable characters.
There’s thoughtful Mr. Knightley from Emma,
the debonair Willoughby, and lest I should forget, Pride and Prejudice’s, Mr. Darcy.

            Mr. Darcy. He’s handsome and terribly
proud. Modest, rich, and honorably faithful to those he loves. And for some
reason, he seems to be all the girls go crazy for. All one has to do is chicken-peck
“Mr. Darcy” into Pinterest’s search engine and all sorts of girlish shrines appear:

just in case you may be one of these infatuated
Darcy-lovers, please keep reading. I understand how it would be easy to like
him; his stuttering, love soaked speeches are enough for any warm-blooded
female to swoon. But come on, ladies, can’t we do better?

            “Better? However in the world could
we do better than Mr. Darcy?” cry the masses. Simply put, Brandon. Colonel
Brandon. I am confused as to why some ladies dream of Darcy and yet pass by
the Colonel like Marianne . . . with indifference and disgust. He’s old, you
say. Yes, but he is also wise. “He is too stiff and boring” and yet he is solidly
dependable and has a genuine, discreet heart. Did anyone notice how he never
once pushed his feelings on Marianne and that he gentlemanly bowed out upon
discovering her heart lay elsewhere? His feelings, though they ran deep, were
restricted to friendship and genuine friendship is what he gave to the Dashwood’s.

             In reality, we’re speaking about fictional
characters that, though very dear to us, are quite contained to the page. In a
very roundabout way, I simply put forth the following questions:

Who are we drooling over

and why, exactly?

As Christian young ladies we’ve been given the charge
of keeping our hearts safely for Christ (and therefore our future
husbands). I do not believe there is anything wrong with observing and taking
into consideration different character qualities or personality traits which
are pleasant and good (from real or fictional characters). However, I do
question our idols and our dreams. If we are going to dream o’re Darcy let us
ask ourselves why? And let us look around for someone who may be a bit more

With love to all you Darcy-lovers!


6 thoughts on “Why I (don’t) Love Mr. Darcy

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    You know, I really count myself cursed that I was ever introduced to any of the Austen gentlemen … not because they're not perfectly wonderful, because they are; but because there are very few men in real life who could ever measure up to their fictional standards. (Just as I don't know any of US who are ever going to be Lizzy Bennett or Elinor Dashwood!!)

    There are actually two Austen gentlemen whom I feel are actually realistic … one of those is indeed Colonel Brandon. He's made his mistakes, but he is loyal, kind, modest, chivalrous, self-sacrificing, and a true gentleman. (And I could have come up with more adjectives than that!) The other is Henry Tilney – he's got the Austen sweep-you-off-your-feet manners, but aside from that, he's just a sarcastic goofball who loves to tease. Both of these characters feel more believable than perfect Darcy.

    So … I'm a Darcy lover, I admit it; but I much prefer dreaming about characters who actually help me form a more realistic idea of what is important to look for in my future husband. Wealth, brilliance, and smoldering good looks are not on my list. 🙂

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    Oh yes … and I'll admit to doing all of the above – dreaming, making lists, AND sacking out on the couch with brownies and a box of tissues to watch Austen classics. Guess I'm a hopeless romantic after all. :-}

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    Bravo Frannie! After watching P & P for the first time, I simply could not quite get why girls just drool over Mr. Darcy. Not the guy I want at all! 🙂 Still don't get it but oh well… May the Lord Jesus continue to lead you! blessings in Him!

  4. Avatar

    Dear Vickie:
    Hah! I love your comments and your honesty. Confession: I've done all three as well. 🙂

    Dear Charis:
    Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! Perhaps we we'll never understand. 🙂 God bless you!!

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    I love Jane Austen things. But, that doesn't mean I drool over the men. I probably drool over the whole protocol that the gentlemen followed back then more than anything. 🙂 I wish we could see more gentlemanly manners in today's world. 😉
    That's slightly off subject. 🙂 Any way, I think I agree with what you're saying. I've also formed the opinion that those men are 'perfect', in a sense, and we are pretty much putting up impossible standards for any young man who might come along. I mean, if we aren't perfect, then why should we be looking for someone who is? Because quite frankly, I'd just about be terrified to marry someone who was perfect because I'd never be able to live up to him or his expectations.
    Ok, that might be slightly off subject, too… 😉 But, I am glad to say that I don't think I've ever swooned over any of those men because, hey, they're already married. 😉 hehe! 🙂 But, I will admit that I do love Jane Austen novels/movies and enjoy her wit and humor, and wonderfully big words! 😉
    Thanks for the post, Frannie! Sorry I kind of rambled… 😉

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    Dear Sarah!

    Oh, I loved your comment! I understand and agree with what you said. I also like Austin works and I do admire the way the (majority) of men of old behaved–very honorable and encouraging!

    I also think that you are right…it isn't kind to expect Adam's fallen sons to behave perfectly for we are Adam's daughters and quite fallen too.

    You are a blessing!

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